he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Couch. On fire.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
