You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
