you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
