Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
