Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
