He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize