He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
