O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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