she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
