She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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