my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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