Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
