if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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