dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
