Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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