I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
