also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
