So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
