Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
