This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
