omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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