Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
