I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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