i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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