she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize