nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
