somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
