Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
