what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He passed out mid-signature
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
