I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
