whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
