Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
