we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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