Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
