Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
