So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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