she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
