He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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