I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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