franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
