Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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