Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
