I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
