Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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