My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
