They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
