life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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