Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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