I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
