haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize