break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize