At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
