Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
