My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
be right there i have to get my cape
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
