come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
