OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
