i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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