shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
