What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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