why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize